Addiction is biology. Hell is theology.
Just as there are real, natural, and temporal consequences in biology, there are also real, spiritual, and eternal consequences in theology.
The analogy isn't perfect, but I think you get the point.
Lots of people don't need to love you. They don't need you. They don't owe you anything.
With God, it's different. He is the very source of all life and the reason we exist. All good things come from Him. Without Him, there is no good. He is Goodness itself. He is Love and the source of Joy.
We need Him if we want to enjoy these things in their perfection after this life in His eternal kingdom.
If I want to live freely in America, I need to follow the laws. If I want to enjoy all the benefits of being an American citizen, I need to follow the laws.
No matter how much I scream, "The government is stupid! That's a stupid law! They're heartless!"... If I break the law, I'll still go to jail. I'll still, in a sense, lose my rights, and I'll suffer for my wrong actions.
God's law is higher than manmade laws and it's absolute. Those who break it cannot get a witty lawyer and get out of jail free. He who sees all things will reward everyone according what they have done. The good will rule with Him forever, and the evil will burn for all eternity.
I'm confident, and sometimes that may seem like arrogance. It's the way a scientist can stand up a say with absolute confidence that the earth is round and other flatearther scientist will look at him and call him arrogant.
In the end, only one of two essentially contradicting views can be correct.
Your last sentence, "That's extreme." made me remember these two verses from the Bible:
"Therefore, since we are receiving an unshakable kingdom, let us be filled with gratitude, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. 'For our God is a consuming fire.' ”
— Hebrews 12:28-29
It IS extreme. God is serious about conversion because he intends to destroy all evil and make this universe a safe and perfect place for the righteous. A place free from sin, pain, death, and all kinds of evil.
He cannot do that if the devil, all the demons, and all the people of this world who want to do 'whatever the hell' they feel like are still in the world causing chaos.
For order to exist, a people must be able to follow orders. And if they cannot follow the orders of God, they cannot live in His kingdom.
The only other alternative is hell.
